The Company We Keep

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful (John 15:2, NIV).

Recently I’ve found myself taking screenshots of puns and various jokes as I scroll across them online and I can’t believe what’s happening to me. You see, I work with a guy that loves puns and “Dad jokes,” as they are commonly called.

There isn’t a workday that goes by without him sharing at least one joke with us, specifically thanks to an entire calendar of daily puns given by another co-worker at Christmas. It’s been the daily rage at work over the last few months, and, like I mentioned, I’ve now found myself in a group text sharing silly puns on a regular basis. Though I gave him a hard time at first, admittedly, it has become a really fun way to share a laugh or two every day and has given us a way to stay connected in a light-hearted way.

Though we are almost a year into this COVID pandemic, it seems as though things feel even more exhausting now than they did seven, eight, or even nine months ago. Which is why I believe, now more than ever, it’s so important to take a step back and examine the company we are keeping.

While visiting with a friend one evening, we began to share some frustrations regarding how difficult it can be when someone you love is struggling to the point of having negativity, complaining, and short-tempered responses dictating their daily lives. I’m sure we’ve all been there before—we’ve been the one that’s struggling and we’ve been the one trying to love the one that’s struggling. It can be such a difficult space to navigate.

When we look at what it looks like to love one another from a biblical perspective, we need only to turn the pages to the Gospel of John, Chapter 13 where there we find verses 34 and 35 filled with this truth: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” When written on paper, it sounds pretty easy, right? But when we attempt to not only read these instructions as words on a page, but to take them from the pages and inject them into action in our lives, things get a little more complicated.

Humans are complicated beings. Though we were made in the image of God, when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the Garden of Eden, sin was introduced into the world and things haven’t been the same since.

For thousands upon thousands of years, we have struggled with our sinful nature and have been in a constant battle of good versus evil. Thankfully, when we confess our faith and believe in our hearts that Jesus is our Lord and Savior, we are given the free gift of salvation for all time. When we make this commitment, it doesn’t mean that sin in our life goes away, but it does position our hearts to begin living our lives in a way that reflects our savior, Jesus Christ.

We can talk the talk, but the difficult part is figuring out what it looks like to truly walk with Jesus on our journey. I believe one of the toughest parts about that is the fact that it requires us to take a long look at the company we keep. Why do I say that? Well, the story I shared at the beginning of this devotional is a perfect example. It wasn’t long after my co-worker first began sharing his daily jokes that I began saving and sharing them myself.

There was a poet by the name of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe who has been credited with saying “Tell me with whom you consort and I will tell you who you are; if I know how you spend your time, then I know what might become of you.”1 That’s what I like to call a truth-bomb, right there. Before we even realize it, we begin to take on the habits, attitudes, and actions of those with whom we spend most of our time.

So that brings me to this difficult-to-answer question: what do we do if someone we love is struggling with a root of unhappiness in their own life, causing them to bring negativity, complaining, and bitterness into our life, causing that to begin to seep into our hearts? Well, that’s certainly a loaded question and one that can be answered in a number of ways. But for me, as with answering any question, I believe the most important thing to do is to look to Jesus as an example. He showed us how to love with boundaries.

If you’ve never heard much about the 3-12-72 principle from the Bible, I would encourage you to do some more thorough reading on this concept. As Anthony Scott Ingram wrote, though Jesus loved and served everyone, He did not give equal face time to all His followers2. I would encourage you to take a read of his article that I’ve cited below as it’s a very informative look into how Jesus set relational boundaries.

I’ve learned this principle the hard way over the last several years of my spiritual journey. Though we are called to love others, it’s also important to position our hearts within a set of boundaries that protects what our ultimate desire should be as followers of Jesus, which is to have a heart more like Him.

What do we do when the company we’ve been keeping begins to move us out of alignment with the will of God for our lives? That might sound drastic, but it’s something I fully believe I have experienced in my life, and honestly, I’m sure most of you have, too.

Now, I don’t say that to mean that I move away from any relationship (friendship or otherwise) that is hard—quite the opposite, actually. I believe there is such beautiful growth and healing that can happen when two people work together in relationship, both with each other and individually with Jesus, to become more like Him. When those things happen together, people can grow and be such a gift to the world as you honor and give glory to God through the relationship.

It becomes challenging, however, when you begin to recognize that your paths seem to be diverging. How do you continue to love someone while also letting them go, knowing the choices they are making in their lives are actually pulling you away from Jesus rather than helping you to grow and become more like Him? My mind is drawn to the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 7, Verse 19: Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire (ESV).

The relationships and the people in my life are so incredibly valuable and important to me that this verse can be hard for my heart to bear. The thought of cutting something away from my life that I love dearly is devastating. But, I have been learning over time that when I continue to allow myself to be in the company of those that pull me away from Jesus, I am becoming more and more like a tree that doesn’t bear good fruit. And as a follower of Jesus, that’s the last thing I want for my life. What I have come to understand is that, like Jesus, I can love others from a distance through prayer while keeping a safe boundary to protect my heart.

I am pausing today to look at the company I’ve been keeping in my life and I’m asking you to do the same thing, too. Again, I am not suggesting that we walk away from any relationship that’s difficult, but I do think it’s important to step back and assess the habits, attitudes, and actions that we’ve taken on as a result of how and with whom we are spending our time.

It isn’t easy to make difficult changes in our lives, but John 15:2 says: He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful (NIV). This reminds me when I make the difficult decision to cut away anything from my life that isn’t helping me bear more fruit, I am actually opening my heart to the Lord in a way that allows Him to begin to prune my life in a way that will make me even more fruitful for the Kingdom.

1. “Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Quotes (Author of The Sorrows of Young Werther) (Page 9 of 61).” Goodreads. Goodreads. Accessed February 5, 2021. https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/285217.Johann_Wolfgang_von_Goethe?page=9.

2. http://Www.facebook.com/ingramwriter. “Leadership: The 3-12-72 Principle.” Anthony Scott Ingram, June 17, 2020. http://anthonyingram.com/the-3-12-72-principle/.